after three tries and 45 mins. he is now taking his afternoon nap. no one told me that he would keep crying time and time again and that it would be a battle that you must have over and over.
i never thought it would be so hard to hear my son cry but it rips at my very fiber, my being, the core, sorta like i am being torn inside out --i want to scream, shout and do something crazy when he is crying. i cannot stand it--it hurts so much. i find that i start cleaning (or opening the wine) like mad and i begin looking for soemthing to distract myself from his crys and pleas and it is like he knows it gets to me, so once in a while he will throw in a real shril one--peiercing the kind that makes you think something must have happened and then i go in and find that he does not even have a tear! i have never felt like this before.
my husband does not feel this way at all.
whew feels better just to write it down. i am going to have to work hard not to be such a sucker such a push over mother and yet these fibers that attach us are so strong.
being a mother truly is a challenge unlike any before.